Okay Okay I know that it is March but I basically have been trying to figure out how to word what I want my new years resolutions. First, this is definitely not for a "pity party" I think that I need to write all of my feelings down, it will hopefully help me keep and succeed at this years resolutions....
Well here is goes....
My 2011 New Years Resolution is.....Take time for myself.
Now the explanation. I have been a little unhappy, feeling really useless, and basically all around crappy basically about everything. I have been literally praying for some kind of answer for me...and I need to take time for myself. I literally don't do anything by myself: not bath, shower, put my makeup on (if it even goes on), do my hair, blog, NOTHING.
So things that I have been working on that should help my by the end of the year (and hopefully earlier):
1. Actually put make up on (even if it is just mascara and eyeliner)
2. Take time to read my scriptures (even just one verse)
3. Take time to blow dry my hair once a week or so (those who know my hair know this is a pretty big time commitment)
4. Treat myself to a new shirt or jewelry or something (Derek and Kenzie aren't the only ones who should get things)
5. Find joy in everything
6. Get adult interaction-not just on the phone. (It is hard to talk to a two year old all day)
Now this is going to be hard especially for the next few months. I am going to have a baby and am already preparing for the emotional turbulence that I will be experiencing and talking to my doctor about the medicine I need to be starting when the baby is born, from previous postpartum with Kenzie. We are going to be moving in June too...AHH I know we are gonna be a little crazy.
I have been jealous of my friends that work. They get to go somewhere, speech with adults, and get a change of scenery. Now, I wouldn't change being a mom for anything, BUT I have been feeling like I need to do something different, as I told Derek when he got his new job,
"You get a new job that brings new and exciting challenges but basically you are gonna like better, for me to change my life I have to get fat and push out a baby, then recover from doing so. IT IS JUST NOT FAIR."
I need to find the joy in being a mom, I mean I really love it but sometimes have a hard time, I just feel useless.
To start to combat these feelings besides the list above is to sell Avon. I am not into pushing sells to anyone but I feel like I can order makeup or jewelry (because pricing is AWESOME) and meet new people and interact with other adults, while feeling like I am doing something with my life AND if I do more things I know I can be more organized and get more things done.
I wanted to post my website here so in case you didn't get my email about my new online store you have access to it.
Now, wish me luck...I have a feeling that this is gonna be a pretty crazy year but I hope that by the end it is a successful year and I feel better about being a mom and can realize that I am not a useless turd, (HAHA).
Thanks for listening....Good luck on your New Years Resolutions!